You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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