Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I need to stop coming to work sober
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
