I have demons in me.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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