i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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