They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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