like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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