in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
