You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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