I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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