Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
