1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Walk of Shame today included voting.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
