K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
