i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
