I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize