i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
