My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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