He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
