i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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