i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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