I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
