but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
