Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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