If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
