Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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