I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
