I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
