I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
