well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
A+ Viking dick
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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