I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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