She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
