i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize
