You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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