I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
