Ambien. No doubt about it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
