So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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