Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
