it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
