The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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