Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
