I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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