To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
