I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
