So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize