That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
