She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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