You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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