DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
