did you get engaged???
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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