and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
