But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
