Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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