escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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