everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
