I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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