Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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