capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
