just survived the first fart of the relationship.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
