At least make sure they are 18
Why
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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