I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
