Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
