Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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