Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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