hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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