do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize