I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
