i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize