i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
