WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
