my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
