Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
