i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
