Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
