i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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