Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The Olympian is in my bed
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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