So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
