Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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