You smell like stripper and shame
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
