hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
