Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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