I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
