all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
