it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just threw up on my dentist
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
