and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
