He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
