Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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